A 10 year Old's Courage and Cause

Allow me to share my daughter's story. 

Two weeks ago, September 4 at around 7:30 pm Manila time, my daughter Arianne slipped on the bathroom floor. she cried out for help and I rushed to find out what happened. Blood was dripping from her mouth, and it took me a while before I could make sense of what just happened to her. After she told me her story, I was now aware that something changed in her appearance; ( gasp!) she broke three of her permanent teeth!

minutes after the accident

After the bleeding stopped, I comforted her as she cried so hard, because of the pain and the jarring shock her face took. I was disoriented, worried and at a loss as to what to do. She had classes the following day, but her gums and lips were swollen. I was also concerned that she would be bullied in school because now she looked funny, and kids can be really cruel.

I texted her teacher informing her that I would be taking Arianne to the Dentist the following day and that she would be absent. The visit was unfruitful as the dentists could not repair her teeth as the gums were still tender and swollen and that the teeth could not be moved as yet. Several antibiotics and pain relievers later, I took her to another dentist who was only able to give her prophylaxis and a treatment plan for when the injury shall have fully recovered.

Her first day back in school, I was worried that the kids would bully her. I made her wear a surgical mask and I even instructed her to never show her teeth unless it was her teacher who wanted a look-see. I was anxious as to how her day went. When she finally came home, I was so relieved that none of her classmates bullied her. She was shown kindness and concern by all. I was touched, I didn't expect the kids to be mature enough to not make fun of her. Even her friends and neighbors at home took the matter like mature people. I was so wrong to think that of kids. This generation proved me wrong again.

Four days later, I wanted to make sure she was okay with what happened to her appearance and the answer I got surprised me. She brushed my question aside, and changed the topic altogether by saying; " Ma, I want to feed the kids...." taken aback, I said what kids? who? why? She then goes on to say " the beggars, those who usually don't have slippers and beg for food , I want to feed them."

I wanted to test if she was just off-topic or serious about her ideas so I got a pen and paper and asked her questions. Two answers later, I figured she had a pretty good plan. That very night, a cause was formed. I made suggestions as to the things she would need to do, like get support from friends, funding, etc. To be perfectly honest, I felt really proud of her. I could not get past the fact that she thought less of herself and embraced other kids in her world, despite her recent mishap.

The following day, I helped her present the idea to her friends and neighbors and they immediately backed her up. Before the day ended, they have already put up a Facebook page for their campaign. I took a snapshot of the partial members of her inner circle of organizers last Saturday, September 14, shy as they were for their profile picture. Please visit and like their page here:Feed the Little Ones                       

the young people behind Feed the Little Ones aged 10-14, Arianne in pink

They plan to feed at least 70 kids from less fortunate families in the coastal slum areas in one afternoon of fun and games on November 23rd, a Saturday, 11 weeks from now. As a campaign to raise funds, she and her inner circle of friends will be collecting and selling pet bottles and ask for donations from family and friends to raise the funds they will need. She was already able to collect PhP 300  about $7  in one week and deposited them in a bamboo piggy bank.

I suggested that maybe they can write letters to establishment owners to ask for donations of toys and loot bags and prizes. I also reminded her that this event should never put anyone in a spotlight, not politicians, not tv networks, not even her. but I secretly wished that Facebook netizens took the time to look them up and like their page. Some people could not open her page though, being the minor that she is, although I have recently tweaked her privacy settings for Feed the Little Ones to be searched by all. Please give us feedback if the link opens or not.

I accompanied her yesterday during lunch break to their school principal and one other school, as she presented her letter and asked for support from school officials to allow her to put a mini poster and piggy banks for donations in those schools as she could not open a short term savings account solely for this activity.

As per our computation, a delicious, nutritious, filling meal that kids will appreciate can be had at a cost of PhP 50/kid or around $ 1.20 to put her budget close to $100 plus prizes and loot bags. The Barangay Captain or Community Chairman has given his nod to the project and gave us permission to use the community hall on that date. All that they need is the numbers for Facebook page likes and donations.

I am not going to ask you guys for anything except to visit and like her page and maybe leave encouraging words to my little charitable girl and maybe share her page to others as well. That, will be more than a big boost to the group. I am acting as their adviser and page admin and I know that the kids will be more than delighted to see that people from other parts of the world appreciate what they are doing. So, thank you in advance.

Arianne's teeth still need a major dental work, but after she got busy with Feed the Little Ones, I told her she was even more beautiful now, than before her accident. What a beautiful soul she has, and humbled as I was to be her mom, can't be prouder of the size of her heart.

On Being Mom To an Alpha Pre-Teen

        In the wake of my "successful venture" into sewing, I decided to make new blouses for uniforms for my youngest. Seeing that she, as a pre-teen, has become more conscious of her appearance, I figured, it wouldn't hurt if I made her new uniforms to match her new-found self-confidence. She'd lost baby fat and has recently grown womanly curves, despite still being a child.

        After just one day, I finished all three new white blouses, washed and pressed them. When she finally wore one last Monday, she got rave reviews from classmates, saying she looked trim and bright with her super white, crisp and well-made blouses. Yay!

        Monday, at lunch time, while she was walking home under the sweltering heat of the sun, ( there was no available tricycle at that time, and school was cancelled for the afternoon, due to a freak heavy rainfall in the early morning, that caused flooding to most of her classmate's homes) a boy she was crushing on, accompanied her while shielding her face with his hands from the sun and walked her home, from 5 houses away from where he saw her.

Arianne in pink shorts in grade three with a nurse friend and neighbors

        But what happened yesterday, I wasn't quite well-prepared for. Imagine my reaction when my 10 year old, told me that a 6th grader next door to her classroom, asked her to go to the school garden with him and there, confessed his 'love' for her, whilst holding her hand. Blushing and shaking, was how my little girl described the "culprit" when he said those words.

        My baby heard her very first and monumental " I love you" yesterday, July 16, 2013 over at lunch break at a public elementary school right here in Davao City, Philippines. And my head is shaking in disbelief.

         I was torn between amusement and concern. Well. first, I laughed as my baby was describing how her pulse raced and that she didn't quite know what to do or what to say. She simply shrugged and said " Pag-sure oy!" which would roughly translate to "come on, are you sure?" And then after watching the butterflies and flowers that the boy was pointing to, ( Arianne was basically telling me she barely heard, let alone understood, the other things the boy was saying, after she heard that shocker of a confession, which I could understand, was how any girl would feel under the circumstances.)

At grade four trying on a Forever 21 jacket

        And then the barrage of questions, ranging from "can I have a boyfriend, now?" to "why not? not even for just a month?" I patiently answered ALL my little angel's childish questions. She was still processing the incident and hasn't really fully understood the implications of what just happened to her.

      I must say that I have to give some credit to the boy. I've seen the boy a few times as Arianne has pointed him out, after learning from his friends that he was eyeing her. For one, the boy is an Alpha pre-teen himself, being a leader of the boys in his class. He has a group of other classmates who follow his lead in scouting and Tae Kwon Do. Though not audaciously handsome, he's quite attractive being neat in his appearance and ways. From what I learned, he introduced himself to her, and would grab every opportunity to make friends with her, even sending other boys to tell her, he's been crushing on her. 

       Yesterday, when I learned that he wasted no time, and gathered up the courage to tell her how he felt, and apparently planned the walk to the garden, when school was just a month and a half into the school year. This early, he wanted to beat others to the door,and secure for himself a possible spot in her heart. Now, that's an Alpha male, brave and bold.

       Processing my daughter's recent experiences all throughout summer and now, while in fifth grade, I was also able to finally conclude that she too, happened to be an Alpha female, a magnetic and influential personality, who can instantly change the chemistry in any room the minute she walks in.

        Arianne was still chubby when school ended in March, but all throughout summer, she lost baby fat, gained 12 new friends and half of these are boys, whom she could easily compete with on boy-oriented games. Though not boyish, she's adept in Dragon Nest, CrossFire, I-Date and other computer games requiring high level skills. Sometimes she teaches them; boys and girls, the necessary skills to upgrade and level up. Being naturally people-oriented, she easily makes friends, is not easily offended and accepting of other kids, making no discrimination irregardless of status, height or appearance. Despite being the youngest girl in her circle of friends, she also attracts the boys the most. At least four of these boys have taken turns stealing opportunities to hold her hands whilst playing ball games and computer games. I know because I can hear the teasing and she reports the incidents to me every night.

        As her family constantly surrounds her in most of her activities, we have collectively observed how she has developed into having a curvacious figure, disarming smile and a magnetic personality. Her presence and absence is felt whether by us, or by her friends.

       All the while I thought this was only my observation, her older siblings and own father have noticed the same things too. So this early, despite not being fully woman yet, she has become a boy-magnet, such that an unlucky fellow has fallen hard for her effortless charms already and confessed, I can only expect to hear more of these happening now and in the near future.

       I have already worked out my plan to monitor her school activities, having her female school adviser apprised of her experiences and to regulate her break time activities. I'm also planning to tap her former adviser and male teacher to do a non-threatening man-talk to the boy to remind him of his youth and limitations as a minor.

       In the evening, I helped Arianne process her feelings and reminded her she cannot be in relationships just yet. That it was okay for the boy to give her notes and little tokens, but not to take her anywhere inside or outside the school for extended talks. And that she should have a female classmate with her should the love-sick boy ask to speak with her just to be on the safe-side.

        Every experience as a mother is an adventure. and though this recent one is both funny and disconcerting, I pray for protection for my daughter as she has barely entered into the tumultuous world of crushing, loving and teenage hood. I hope the open communication we have established together becomes the foundation of a less-difficult transition into her adulthood.

        Thank you for the opportunity to share my experience with my youngest. So far so good, I AM rocking this mom role. Good luck to your mothering!